Scripture

Proverbs 17:9 NLT

Love prospers when a fault is forgiven, but dwelling on it separates close friends.

Consider

Webster’s dictionary describes “dwelling” as living or remaining in one place. To dwell is to linger long enough for the place to become familiar and comfortable.

Likewise, to dwell on someone’s fault is to linger on that fault until we know it well. We hold it close, memorize it, and rehearse how we will share it with others. When we’ve been personally offended, our thoughts may naturally slide into this temporary residence and refuse to leave it. There we find comfort, relief for our wounded self, and shelter from further hurt. If the fault we are lingering over was not personal, yet still we make it a favorite topic of conversation, the proverb says that our tale-bearing may hurt others and damage even close friendships.

What do we hope to gain by this telling of another’s faults? Well, if the offense was against me, perhaps I want sympathy or validation for my angry feelings. If I am merely sharing a secondhand story I’ve heard about someone’s fault, then I’m probably seeking the subtle power of dispensing high-value information. To our shame, we are a people riveted by the latest scandal. While the old adage, “No news is good news,” may be true, so is its reverse: “Good news is no news.” We have an appetite to hear the worst stories about each other.

What is the solution to this gossip problem? The proverb tells us that “love prospers when a fault is forgiven.” The ESV translates this same line like this: “Whoever covers an offense seeks love.” In other words, we show love when we choose to conceal rather than expose a fault, when we choose to protect rather than exploit someone’s reputation. Whether we are the victim of a fault or merely a witness to it, we can choose to dwell in love and peace-making rather than in tale-bearing that wounds and cripples relationships. Mindful that God’s holy presence dwells in the midst of our thoughts and intentions, we must resist taking that slide into selfish slandering and instead set our hearts on loving and healing one another.

Pray

FATHER, I confess that I linger too long on people’s faults and not enough on loving and forgiving them. Forgive me for housing your holy Spirit alongside my tarnished thoughts and desires. In moments when I am tempted to gossip, remind me of my faults that you chose to cover with your love and help me to extend that same grace to others.

Reflect

Isaiah 43:18; 1 Peter 4:8

Ponder

How do you feel when someone shares a nasty bit of information about someone else? How do you typically respond?