Scripture

Psalm 91:14 (New American Bible, Revised Edition)

Because he clings to me I will deliver him; because he knows my name I will set him on high.

Consider

Here is the Amplified Bible translation of God’s promise in this psalm:

Because he has set his love upon Me, therefore I will deliver him; I will set him on high, because he knows and understands My name [has a personal knowledge of My mercy, love, and kindness—trusts and relies on Me, knowing I will never forsake him, no, never]. —Psalm 91:14 (AMP)

We have a marvelous, sovereign, all-powerful God who nevertheless longs for an intimate, one-on-one relationship with us. He has even told us his Name so that we can call on him directly and with the familiarity of a cherished child. Our God desires our worship and praise, but he also hungers for our affection, our loyalty, and our company. He wants us to know and value him so well that we will voluntarily spend time with him, share ourselves with him, and learn from his wisdom.

Because we are created in God’s image, it shouldn’t surprise us that we hunger for the same things in our human relationships that God hungers for with us. Like our Father, we long to be known and to be loved. We want others to recognize us and to call us by our name.

That’s why misunderstandings can easily escalate into conflict when we feel that the other person does not recognize and value us personally. The original point of disagreement becomes outweighed by our feelings of being dismissed or disrespected—”Have you heard anything I’ve said?” At such an impasse, we don’t want logical arguments; we want reassurance that our opinions matter and that the other person understands who we are and where we’re coming from.

To deescalate a conflict, try setting aside your need to win the argument. Instead, listen and reflect what the other person is saying until he or she feels heard and understood. Reexamine the situation until you can see how it looks to the other person. Most important, set aside your expectations so that you can accept and value the other person regardless of whether he or she comes around to your point of view. Valuing the person over the argument opens the door to apologies and forgiveness and the healing that follows.

Pray

FATHER, I don’t always appreciate how much you love me and desire my company. You have written my name on your hands and covered me with your name to reflect how much you value me. Help me to see through my pride and show others how I value them more than I value winning an argument. Give me ears to hear them and eyes to see them just as they are, not how I want them to be. Thank you that you never cease calling me by my name into loving, intimate relationship with you.

Reflect

Isaiah 49:16; Revelation 3:12

Share

How might knowing how much God loves you help you to value others with whom you have a disagreement?