Scripture

Exodus 34:14 (New Living Translation)

“You must worship no other gods, for the LORD, whose very name is Jealous, is a God who is jealous about his relationship with you.”

Consider

Jealousy carries a negative connotation. We blame the “green-eyed monster” for inciting quarrels and sabotaging relationships. We lose our peace to compulsive ruminations, and a friend may become our enemy overnight. Jealousy robs us of dignity and can drive away the people we love most.

It may come as a shock, then, to discover that jealousy is an important attribute of God.

The fact is, there are two kinds of jealousy described in the Bible: godly jealousy and sinful jealousy.

We are probably more familiar with the second kind. The first kind, however, is the original form that God intended. Godly jealousy is a positive force, wholesome and helpful to relationships. Its function is to protect and defend an exclusive relationship from external threats.

Godly jealousy is most often associated with the marriage covenant. In its purest form, jealousy derives its energy from love, single-minded devotion to the union, and a desire for faithfulness from the beloved. Webster defines jealousy as “zealous vigilance,” wherein each partner guards the relationship by keeping its boundaries firm, even if it means offending intrusive people or taking practical measures to discourage infidelity.

Our God is jealous in exactly the same way about our relationship with him. Turning away from him to pursue other gods or idols is a form of spiritual adultery that offends and angers him because he longs for our faithfulness: “All day long I opened my arms to them, but they were disobedient and rebellious” (Romans 10:21).

God’s jealousy for us is always pure and righteous because God is holy. Our jealousy, on the other hand, is too often tainted by sin and selfishness. The surest way to identify which kind of jealousy you’re feeling is to ask yourself, Is my jealousy focused primarily on myself and my wounded pride, or am I more concerned with the welfare of my beloved and keeping our relationship inviolate?

Godly jealousy focuses on protecting and repairing a relationship, whereas sinful jealousy—also called “bitter envy”—stirs up conflict, creates rivalry, and too often corrupts the very relationship it was intended to protect. Both kinds of jealousy can be intense, passionate, strong, and enduring. Under the rule of love, these attributes can be mobilized to stabilize and repair a relationship that is in danger, whereas under the rule of sin and selfishness, the relationship is subjected to further damage. Jealousy’s true motivation will be revealed in its fruit.

Pray

FATHER, I can scarcely understand how You, my Maker and Sustainer, also desire such intimate friendship with me that you guard our relationship with jealous intensity and tender love. Forgive me for the times when I turn away from You to follow other pursuits and ignore your open arms. Teach me the value of godly jealousy and help me to guard my love relationships and friendships with pure motivations.

Reflect

Deuteronomy 32:21; Proverbs 14:30; James 3:14-16

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How might godly jealousy help a troubled relationship?