Scripture

Psalm 139:1-6 (NLT)

O LORD, you have examined my heart and know everything about me. You know when I sit down or stand up. You know my thoughts even when I’m far away. You see me when I travel and when I rest at home. You know everything I do. You know what I am going to say even before I say it, LORD. You go before me and follow me. You place your hand of blessing on my head. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand!

Consider

One key verb unlocks the first six verses of this beautiful psalm: know. Lord, you know everything about me.

More than a simple understanding, God’s knowing of the psalmist is the very same verb used in Genesis 4:1 to describe Adam’s sexual knowing of his wife, Eve. The psalmist feels naked and vulnerable under the intensity of God’s attention. He proceeds to describe all the ways that God knows him, from external activities to his innermost thoughts. God knows him so well that even the psalmist’s words are anticipated before he utters them. Such knowledge of me, the psalmist concludes, is beyond my comprehension. I cannot begin to fathom how thoroughly and perfectly You know and understand me.

This realization disturbs him.

Tension runs through the rest of the psalm. The psalmist is torn between a desire to rest in the comfort of God’s attention and the need to run away and hide from such intense intimacy. We experience this same tension in our human relationships as well. We long for the joy of being known but fear being known too well. Our need to know and to be known is God’s design for us, but fearing such intimacy is the result of our living in a fallen world. People we trust betray us; painful experiences make us cautious and unwilling to risk further pain. We feel shame over our sin and keep parts of ourselves hidden. We may lie or leave a relationship altogether to avoid exposing our guilty secrets.

Despite his resistance, the psalmist believes he is safe with God because God’s gaze upon him is always loving. God surrounds him in every way, leaving him no way of escape, yet this Creator of the universe lays his hand (“palm”) on the psalmist’s head—a tender, intimate act at once claiming this child and reassuring him of continued welcome no matter what the almighty gaze might uncover. There is no pause in God’s love, no hesitation over a weakness discovered, no withdrawal of affection to punish or condemn.

The apostle John writes that the more we live in God, the more perfect our love becomes, and perfect love casts out fear. As we follow Jesus, God perfects our love so that we can become safe havens for others who need to trust us with their naked vulnerabilities.

Pray

Heavenly Father, I understand very well the psalmist’s ambivalence over submitting to your all-encompassing gaze. Thank you for your steadfast love that reassures me and helps me to offer up all my hidden corners to your compassionate and cleansing light. As you reshape my heart to resemble the heart of Jesus, teach me how to love without pause despite the sin and guilty secrets I may discover in my relationships.

Reflect

Hebrews 4:12-13;  1 John 4:16-18

Ponder

How comfortable am I with the knowing gaze of God upon me?