Scripture

Psalm 34:11-14 (NLT)

Come, my children, and listen to me, and I will teach you to fear the LORD. Does anyone want to live a life that is long and prosperous? Then keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies! Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.

Consider

Psalm 34 is one of the wisdom psalms. Like proverbs but in poetic form, wisdom psalms teach us how to live good and wise lives by following the ways of God rather than the ways of the wicked. The advice is practical and even intuitive, offering general principles that apply to everyday relationships.

For example, the question in the quoted passage might easily read, “Does anyone want to cultivate a relationship that is enduring and satisfying?” If so, then here are three rules of wisdom to guide your conduct:

Rule #1: Control your speech. The words we say to one another are powerful. Cruel words cut deep, but kind words help and heal. Pause before you speak to weigh the effect your words may have on the listener. Refuse to participate in evil or hurtful dialogue. Prefer honesty to telling a lie; choose integrity over deception for gain.

Rule #2: Determine to do good. Make a conscious decision to be a blessing rather than a stumbling block to another person. There will be plenty of people to criticize, malign, or take advantage of this person, but determine that you will not be one of them. Instead, look for opportunities to come alongside this person as a friend, an encourager, and an instrument of God’s caring for him or her.

Rule #3: Practice peace-making. Peace is not merely the absence of conflict. Peace in relationships is the safe and nurturing environment that allows growth and maturity for both parties. It is freedom from defensive strategies and gives us the chance to be honest and vulnerable with each other. Learn to recognize the selfish manipulations that threaten peace in your relationship and diligently weed them out.

Notice that the psalmist introduces these three rules with an important premise: learn to fear the Lord. Reverence and respect for God’s ways naturally lead us into principles that foster healthy relationships. Proverbs 9:10 tells us that “knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgment.” Seek wisdom in your relationship with God first, and your other relationships will benefit.

Pray

FATHER, help me to recognize my responsibility for keeping my relationships healthy. Forgive me for the times I have hurt and manipulated others for my own selfish gain. Thank you for the rightness of your ways and the practical wisdom of the psalmist’s song that helps me today.

Reflect

Psalm 119:15; Proverbs 1:7

Ponder

Which of the three rules might immediately help you in a relationship?